Thanksgiving

Well it has been a wild ride here. The boys came up from FL for Thanksgiving and we had a house full of boys & toys. It was great though. I am doing better now. I went back to work early. I think that really helps me, how crazy does that sound, but it is helping. All the kids are great & we are still adjusting to the midnight feedings. It is getting cold up here. There have been a few days of flurries & already one day that school has been delayed. So I think it might be a long winter here. Well I miss everyone & I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and have happy holidays!

Getting there...I think.

Well just a short update. I am still working on finding my way back to "normal". I had a get together last night with a few people and I really think it helped out. I needed some social interaction. I am working on trying to control my mood swings. It seems like my major break downs are getting further apart. So I think I am progressing for the better. The kids are great! Masen is putting on weight and Brysen is into anything and everything. Kolby and Klayten will be here for Thanksgiving, so I am really excited about that. It will be good for Brysen. He misses them very much and is really excited about them coming. It will be nice to have our whole family here. All of my men. Well that is it for now, I will keep you posted.

Normal??!!

Well things have started to improve. I think that I have had a small on set of PP depresion, but how do you really know what that is? It is kind of hard to explain what it is when you don't even know yourself. The baby is doing good, Brysen is doing good, just the terrible two's. I just don't feel like myself. I can't even say I know what myself is suppose to feel like right now. My doctor has me on some post partum meds, I don't know if they are working or not, because I can't seem to figure out what normal is. It sounds crazy but when I was pregnant with hormones raging I still felt normal. Right now, I wouldn't know normal if it staired back at me in a mirror. I talked to one of my best friends that delivered a few weeks before me and she has had similar feelings, so I can't say that I am way out side the relam of sanity but still it is hard feeling this out touch with yourself. I am normally a very strong woman, and normally take control of everything and I am the one who holds this family and work life together. Right now I can barely hold myself together and that is just not ok. The worrying if everything is going to be ok, am I doing this right for Brysen, am I being too hard on him with all this change in his life, am I being a good wife even though I am not at 100%, so many things weigh in. I am hoping that this is a phase that will pass soon. Trust me, I don't want to feel pregnant again, but I would love to have "normal" back again. Hey I could make that a new song, instead of "Sexy Back", "Normal Back". There is my humor for the night.

HALLOWEEN

Well Halloween was a hit for Brysen. He was Obi Wan Konobi. "Daddy Star Wars" is what he called it. He liked trick or treating this year. He only made it to about 12 houses but he really liked ringing the door bell. Masen stayed inside while Brysen went door to door at Grandad's house. Masen was a black cat. As you can see I have posted pictures of both of them in their costumes. I can't imagine next year. Well to all, I hope you had a Happy Halloween, we definitely did.

Relax... it's my time

Ok, I have come to grips with work. I know the girls will be fine and I just need to relax. I talked to my doctor last night & she said, by the time you actually relax, it will be time to come back to work. She is right. So I am starting to relax and embrace the time I have with Masen & Brysen. Being a mother is the most gratifying job you will ever have and I am so blessed that I have two wonderful children and two fantastic step sons. I know it is time for me to have "my time" and I am going to take it. Masen went to his weight check appointment yesterday and he now weighs 5 lbs 14 oz. He gained 7 oz in 5 days. He is doing good. Brysen went too, and got his flu shot. He was not happy about that. My mom and I also took Brysen to get his Halloween costume. He is going to be Obi Wan Kinobi from Star Wars. He looks so cute! He calls it Obi Knowbi. Jasen is doing well also, he is working and tired. He is helping with the midnight feedings and it is taking a toll. He is working 4 tens this week so he is off on Friday & I think he really needs it. Our family is doing well. More to come....

Just let go...

Ok, I am having a big problem. To some it is going to sound stupid, but I am feeling really guilty for the way everything is going at work. It seems like since I have gone out that anything that can pop up has. I really don't understand why I can't be one of those people to just walk away from it and take the time I need. I feel like I have to help as much as I can, and I guess part of the problem is that I know the staff is already so over worked and has so much on their plates, that I feel bad that they have to pick up my slack. I wanted things to go smoother when I left and I know that I can not help that I delivered early, but I feel that I need to make up for what has happened. How do you let go? Some people can, and I think that if I had left on a more planned out note, then it would be fine. I don't like it when things are beyond my control and I can't fix things. That is why I guess I am trying to "fix" the fact of how I left, but that is a job that is going to be impossible. By no means do I think that they can't make it with out me, I know they can, I just can't help but feeling like I have dumped on my team. Everyone keeps telling me that I shouldn't feel bad, but I do, I lay in bed thinking,"oh they need to pull this," or I am in the shower, "Oh, I forgot to tell them how to do this." It is on my mind almost all the time. How do you just clear it? I had a card reader tell me one time that it is like I am married to my job. If I was to cheat on my husband it would be with my job. How sad is that? I just feel like there is always something else I need to do. Maybe one day I will figure it out, but right now it is killing me.

Home Sweet Home, well almost

We are home!!! It is nice to be out of the hospital and be back to the comforts of home. The only thing that is not going so well is Jasen is sick. We think he got the cold/sinus infection that Brysen has. Brysen is finishing up antibiotics, and is on the tail end of his cold. Jasen's hit strong on Tuesday and has got worse. He is on antibiotics too. I know it is driving him crazy, because he can't help with Masen. Masen's immune system right now is very low & if he was to get sick, it could send us to Children's. So Jasen has been sleeping on the couch & watching at a distance as Masen is getting use to his new home. Hopefully he will kick this in the next day or so. As for Masen he is doing well. He lost a little bit more weight than he needed to so, when we went to the pediatrician on Tuesday she upped his feeding amount & then also decreased the time between feedings. So he is taking almost 2 oz every 2 1/2 hours. We went back to have him weighed on Wednesday and he gained 1/2 an ounce. He has to go back on Friday for them to check his weight again. So that is about it right now. I am tired.....very tired and healing, but I am happy to have Brysen & Masen home. I am at a very happy place in my life right now. The only thing that I am worried about is the way I went out at work & the burden that I am causing on everyone else. I was not ready to go out and still had not trained everyone as thoroughly as it was needed. Mom had picked up shifts because I wasn't suppose to deliver until November & now she is having to rearrange her schedule and have people cover for her. I just feel like I have made life harder for everyone around me. That is something that I am going to have to work through. I know that there wasn't an option but I still wish it wasn't so sudden. I guess this is confirmation that you can not control and plan everything in life, which I knew, but I still was trying to hold on to the hope that I could hold it all together for a little bit longer. I don't know, just thoughts to think about, and trust me I do, if you can't tell. Well I am going to get up and try to get going. I have a post op appointment this morning and it takes me a while to get myself together. More to come...ta-ta for now.

He's HERE!!!

Masen Cole Jones is here! He was born on 10-17-08 at 1:29 pm. He weighed 6lbs 3oz, was 19 inches long. He was 34 wks 6 days. He is doing good. He is keeping his temp up and all his stats are good. So hopefully we will be able to go home by Monday. When Brysen was picked up from day care yesterday, his granny told him that Masen was here. He was really excited to go see Masen, but his second question was, "Kolby & Klayten are here too?" Which like I said earlier he thinks when Masen got here that the other boys would be here. Brysen has only been able to look at Masen through the window of the nursery, but he will get to see him face to face in a day or so. Unfortunately, Bryen had to go to the doctor today for a minor cold & possible ear infection, so he is starting antibiotics today and after he is on them for a couple days he will get to hold his brother, with help of course. I have posted a couple pictures, enjoy!

Well the party is getting started....

So this past weekend was filled with lovely irregular contractions & the normal pregnancy whoa's. Nothing that I thought was bad enough to go to L&D. So I went into work on Monday and about 2 hours later I am on the monitor, contractions every 2-3 mins. So up to L&D I go....thinking that I was going to triage, (to my bed with my name engraved on it), but no...straight to a room. So I was admitted. Some meds were given, nothing really helped, so unfortunately b/c I was only 34 wks 2dys, Ihad to be transported down town to the perinatal group. They have been taking good care of me & I am really not sure when I will go home & honestly I do not know that when we do go home, if Masen will be going home in his car seat or still in my belly. I have had cervical changed with these contractions, so we might be delivered by this weekend. Who knows. I will tell you though, I have had my fun with ambulance rides & being put on Magnesium, oh yeah and the foli catheter.....you can take all of that to the house, because I don't want to play any more. Besides that, no real horrible complaints. If I do deliver down town, my doc won't deliver me, which kind of stinks....well kind of nothing, it really sucks!!!!But the two docs that are watching me I have full faith in and I know everything will be fine here. But hopefully I will know more tomorrow. I will try to post something tomorrow and let everyone know the status. Ta-Ta for now! Megs

Update

Ok, we are at 33 weeks. I added a new picture of Masen from this week and I also added a hair picture. So, he is growing. He measured 4lbs9oz last week and today.....5lbs14oz. Over a pound in a week. Which this is by ultrasound, most of the time it is pretty accurate. So we are moving right along. Brysen is more and more excited, he knows that when Masen gets here that his brothers are coming. It is our Thanksgiving to have the boys, so Brysen tells everyone that when Masen comes out his brothers will be here to see him and play with him. I have to say I think he is more excited about them coming than Masen, which is fine, because like I have stated earlier, I don't know how long Brysen's excitement will last once Masen is here and Masen is actually getting attention. And when Granny pays attention to Masen.....it will all be over. We will see, he might prove me wrong. I think it is actually going to be better that the other boys will be here, because Brysen will be occupied more with them and I think it might ease the blow of a new baby for Brysen. Like I said though, we will see.

It looks like there is hair..???!!!!

I had an ultrasound last week and my tech said it looks like this baby has hair. I am thinking "no way". Brysen didn't have hair until he was almost two. I was bald as can be when I was a baby. I don't think Jasen hardly had any hair. Well I had another ultrasound today and we are 99% sure that this baby has hair, and not just peach fuzz. He has patches of hair. Where this came from is beyond me. In the ultrasound picture you can see the hair floating from the head in the amniotic fluid. It is crazy!! I guess we will know 100% when he is born, but from the pictures this kid has quite a bit of hair, enough to float around. I still have to get the picture onto my disk, but I will try to post the "hair picture" soon.

Nothing much new, but a New park

Hello all, not much has gone on here lately. Still taking it easy. Jasen found a new park last weekend for Brysen. He loved it. There is a play area for smaller kids and one for bigger kids. Brysen was in heaven. Slides everywhere, he went down them all, multiple times. He was a little timid to go down the "tunnel slide" as he calls it, but when he did he would only go head first, as you can see. It is really getting nice here. The cooler weather is a relief. I can't wait til the leaves change. Out where we live it is a beautiful drive when all the colors come out. I have to say that this is the first time that I have been so happy to see summer pass. Pregnancy and summer do not go hand in hand. Well ta-ta for now.

Here we go again...

Ok, we just couldn't resist another trip to L&D yesterday. Once again I was contracting every 3 minutes or so. After fluids, meds, & more trebutaline I was released to go home. Oh yes, and back on bed rest. So here we are. Don't get me wrong, this little guy needs to stay in there for a few more weeks minimum, but I really wish we could just calm down and lay low for a while. I am starting to think that my name is engraved somewhere on the triage bed at L&D. Besides the trips to L&D everything has been pretty normal. Brysen is learning more and more each day. His vocabulary is amazing and he lets you know everything that is in his little head. The run on sentences keep going, and going, and going, well you get the picture. He is so smart for his age, and I'm not just being that "bragging mom". He really is. I swear he's two going on ten, or more. Well that has been the excitement for this week, I will keep you posted. Hopefully we are done with L&D until the end of the pregnancy.

HERE HE IS....

Ok, Masen is now officially on the blog. We have tried for a while to get a good 3d4d pic of him, but he only wants to give up the profile. So here he is. Masen Cole....AKA TROUBLE.
A little update, contractions still coming, cervix is not changing though, so I am now on partial bed rest w/ PTL precautions. Brysen is really excited, he thinks it is time for Masen to come out. He tells us everyday that Dr. Evitt needs to go get Masen out. Hopefully he will want Masen to stay out once he is in, because I really don't think he gets that Masen CAN'T go back in. He is already not happy that we still need to wait a while before Masen comes out. Well here is a new pic of Brysen too. He decided to be a pirate tonight.

Starting offf

This is the first time I have tried to get computer savvy and start a blog. So bear with me. The best subject for me is my growing family. To catch everyone up to speed, I married the best man in the world, Jasen Jones. We have a son, who is ALL BOY, named Brysen. I also have two step sons that are from Jasen's previous marraige, Kolby & Klayten. We are currently expecting a fourth son, Masen who is due to arrive November 2008. Though I have to say he is giving us a run for our money. We have had two goes with preterm labor, 4 triage visits and one 23 hour admit in the past month. We are now on our third round of bed rest. We have already nicknamed Masen, TROUBLE. I think he is going to come out full steam a head and be a perfect fit for the fantastic little men that already make our life the best adventure one could ask for. We reside in Tennessee. Which in itself is the best setting for our family. We built a new home in August of 2007, with an expanding family we needed a house that would expand with us. We live in Rutledge, TN, right outside of Knoxville, enough to be "in the country" as Jasen says. We are definitely in the country, which is perfect for this family. I am currently an office manager for an OBGYN office. Jasen is in the plumbing field, a field he has been in for 11 years. He is also continuing his education in wild life conservation. We still have family and friends in PCB, FL and try to visit as often as possible. When all of the boys are here we frequent Dollywood, the Zoo, Chuckie Cheese, the lake, the mountains, and I think my favorite place is our back yard. The boys make cycles between swimming, 4 wheeling, smores, swing on vines, camping, gardening, playing ball, water guns, and yes just sliding down the dirt wall they have created. It is a non-stop train, but one I never want to get off. Oh and before I forget we also added another member of the family on this past father's day, Jack D.O.G Jones. He is our yellow lab. What family is not complete without a dog. Once again another boy. Well that is a sneak peak into our life, trust me more to come. Once again I hope you enjoy, because we do!!!!