Home Sweet Home, well almost

We are home!!! It is nice to be out of the hospital and be back to the comforts of home. The only thing that is not going so well is Jasen is sick. We think he got the cold/sinus infection that Brysen has. Brysen is finishing up antibiotics, and is on the tail end of his cold. Jasen's hit strong on Tuesday and has got worse. He is on antibiotics too. I know it is driving him crazy, because he can't help with Masen. Masen's immune system right now is very low & if he was to get sick, it could send us to Children's. So Jasen has been sleeping on the couch & watching at a distance as Masen is getting use to his new home. Hopefully he will kick this in the next day or so. As for Masen he is doing well. He lost a little bit more weight than he needed to so, when we went to the pediatrician on Tuesday she upped his feeding amount & then also decreased the time between feedings. So he is taking almost 2 oz every 2 1/2 hours. We went back to have him weighed on Wednesday and he gained 1/2 an ounce. He has to go back on Friday for them to check his weight again. So that is about it right now. I am tired.....very tired and healing, but I am happy to have Brysen & Masen home. I am at a very happy place in my life right now. The only thing that I am worried about is the way I went out at work & the burden that I am causing on everyone else. I was not ready to go out and still had not trained everyone as thoroughly as it was needed. Mom had picked up shifts because I wasn't suppose to deliver until November & now she is having to rearrange her schedule and have people cover for her. I just feel like I have made life harder for everyone around me. That is something that I am going to have to work through. I know that there wasn't an option but I still wish it wasn't so sudden. I guess this is confirmation that you can not control and plan everything in life, which I knew, but I still was trying to hold on to the hope that I could hold it all together for a little bit longer. I don't know, just thoughts to think about, and trust me I do, if you can't tell. Well I am going to get up and try to get going. I have a post op appointment this morning and it takes me a while to get myself together. More to come...ta-ta for now.