Thanksgiving

Well it has been a wild ride here. The boys came up from FL for Thanksgiving and we had a house full of boys & toys. It was great though. I am doing better now. I went back to work early. I think that really helps me, how crazy does that sound, but it is helping. All the kids are great & we are still adjusting to the midnight feedings. It is getting cold up here. There have been a few days of flurries & already one day that school has been delayed. So I think it might be a long winter here. Well I miss everyone & I hope you had a great Thanksgiving and have happy holidays!

Getting there...I think.

Well just a short update. I am still working on finding my way back to "normal". I had a get together last night with a few people and I really think it helped out. I needed some social interaction. I am working on trying to control my mood swings. It seems like my major break downs are getting further apart. So I think I am progressing for the better. The kids are great! Masen is putting on weight and Brysen is into anything and everything. Kolby and Klayten will be here for Thanksgiving, so I am really excited about that. It will be good for Brysen. He misses them very much and is really excited about them coming. It will be nice to have our whole family here. All of my men. Well that is it for now, I will keep you posted.

Normal??!!

Well things have started to improve. I think that I have had a small on set of PP depresion, but how do you really know what that is? It is kind of hard to explain what it is when you don't even know yourself. The baby is doing good, Brysen is doing good, just the terrible two's. I just don't feel like myself. I can't even say I know what myself is suppose to feel like right now. My doctor has me on some post partum meds, I don't know if they are working or not, because I can't seem to figure out what normal is. It sounds crazy but when I was pregnant with hormones raging I still felt normal. Right now, I wouldn't know normal if it staired back at me in a mirror. I talked to one of my best friends that delivered a few weeks before me and she has had similar feelings, so I can't say that I am way out side the relam of sanity but still it is hard feeling this out touch with yourself. I am normally a very strong woman, and normally take control of everything and I am the one who holds this family and work life together. Right now I can barely hold myself together and that is just not ok. The worrying if everything is going to be ok, am I doing this right for Brysen, am I being too hard on him with all this change in his life, am I being a good wife even though I am not at 100%, so many things weigh in. I am hoping that this is a phase that will pass soon. Trust me, I don't want to feel pregnant again, but I would love to have "normal" back again. Hey I could make that a new song, instead of "Sexy Back", "Normal Back". There is my humor for the night.

HALLOWEEN

Well Halloween was a hit for Brysen. He was Obi Wan Konobi. "Daddy Star Wars" is what he called it. He liked trick or treating this year. He only made it to about 12 houses but he really liked ringing the door bell. Masen stayed inside while Brysen went door to door at Grandad's house. Masen was a black cat. As you can see I have posted pictures of both of them in their costumes. I can't imagine next year. Well to all, I hope you had a Happy Halloween, we definitely did.